I’m grinning at my computer screen.
Grin.
Grin.
Grin.
All I do is grin. I can’t help myself.
So I grin.
I’m grinning like I know something you don’t.
I’m grinning like I know who you are, like you know who I’m not.
I’m grinning like it doesn't matter.
I’m grinning at your reflection in my mirror.
Who’s today’s big grinner? I am!
Grinning.
Still grinning.
Grinning away.
You see me grinning at my reflection in your window and you say, Hey!
I turn to you and grin. You can’t help but grin back.

The sound of your laughter is going to change my world forever. That day I walked outside and a drop of rain landed on my shoulder, knocking me down. I slipped and fell into a plastic bucket that you had put by your window to catch the rain. I floated there for a while. I pretended to enjoy the scenery. Pretty soon you walked by- you looked at me swimming around in your bucket and acted as if you were surprised to see me. Surprised? I called out to you and I laughed. You began to ask if you could help me out but I interrupted with a brilliant display of my free-style form. Around and around the bucket, I churned that water like a tai chi master and water got everywhere. You cried out for me to stop and I cried out for you to join me. But this isn’t chess, you said aloud and you went back inside to change out of your wet clothes. I stopped what I was doing but I pretended not to notice until I noticed that I was drowning. I started splashing around in that bucket again but you couldn’t hear me because you were laughing at something-that’s okay. I’m sorry that I got us both wet.

One time I had this crazy dream and you were in it but that wasn’t the crazy part. When I woke up I had the feeling that things were going to be amazing and then I opened my eyes and I flipped/rolled out of bed and loved every moment of it-especially the part where my alarm started ringing while I was mid-air.

I stepped into the bathroom and the tile (linoleum?) floor was freezing so I transferred my feet onto the mini rug that I had purchased from Target specifically for these kinds of situations and the difference was incredible. There was nothing else for me to do while I waited for the shower to heat up so I stepped back onto the floor over to the toilet to take a leak, and that felt nice too.

The shower wasn’t too amazing; perhaps I had gotten my hopes up too high too soon, but nevertheless as soon as I stepped back onto that floor and out of the bathroom and into my room, the cool air hit me like a kiss on the neck and things resumed being awesome; I didn’t really need to dry my hair but I spent a few minutes shagging it up with my towel anyways and it was good. It was so good that I almost forgot to brush my teeth.

I pulled on a pair of boxers and some brand new black socks and picked out a pair of jeans. After some thought, I selected a shirt and a jacket. The reflection in the mirror did not disappoint so I slipped on my belt and I was complete-a few minutes and a granola bar later, I was out the door.

(The preceding account was a true story based upon purely fictional events that took place in the life of a man who doesn’t really exist but he rather wishes that he did because if he did then everything would be alright and he would be able to overlook the fact that you are still on my mind).

I am a pack of cigarettes, the kind that you smoke dangling between two fingers that curl towards your face and you blow me out of your mouth and into my face and fill my head with your smoke and my eyes water and I hold my breath until every single thing you don’t begin to do makes me want to scream and shout and fling that burning butt from your lips and grind myself into the ground under the heel of my shoe because if it doesn’t kill you, its going to kill me first.